


Handling Harry Potter

by dracogotgame



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Vampire Harry Potter (temporary)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-26
Updated: 2012-10-26
Packaged: 2019-03-30 23:34:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13962492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracogotgame/pseuds/dracogotgame
Summary: Admittedly, vampires were disconcerting. ButPotter, he could handle.





	Handling Harry Potter

**Author's Note:**

> [Originally published October 26, 2012](http://dracogotgame.livejournal.com/31663.html)

Draco rubbed his temples wearily, trying to ignore the tell-tale signs of a throbbing migraine. _Why_ did these things happen to him? Of course, the answer to that was pretty obvious. He turned a scathing glare in the direction of one sheepish looking George Weasley.

“Help me understand, Weasley,” he drawled, crossing his arms and staring the awkward ginger down. “How exactly does one go about turning the Saviour into a semi vampire _by accident_?”

“In retrospect, I may have underestimated the side-effects of eight doses of Vampy Vanilla Ice cream,” Weasley offered, somehow managing to sound both anxious and unrepentant.

“Oh, you think so?” Draco snapped, turning to glare in the direction of his latest crisis. His boyfriend was crouching at the top of a pillar glaring down suspiciously at them. He had torn off his shirt and his fangs were bared in a threatening snarl. He hissed blearily at Draco, who tried very hard not to hex Weasley into next week.

“Exactly when is he expected to recover from this abominable condition?” Draco demanded. Weasley mumbled something about ‘untested’ and ‘hard to estimate’ and Draco did a fair imitation of Harry’s snarl himself.

The vampire retaliated by arching his back and growling in challenge.

“Shut your trap, Potter!” Draco snapped, making Harry crouch belligerently against his hiding spot and snarl at him again.

“Don’t  _yell_  at him!” Weasley squeaked, sounding horrified. “He’s a sodding vampire right now!”

“He’s  _Potter_ ,” Draco scoffed. The Gryffindor bared razor sharp fangs at them again and Draco scowled, thoroughly exasperated. “Potter, I’m warning you. Any more of this inexcusable behaviour and I will  _Aguamenti_  you into next week.”

Potter responded to the challenge by howling like a maniac and dropping from the pillar. Weasley yelped and scrambled back and Draco raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Admittedly, vampires were disconcerting. But  _Potter,_ he could handle.

Said Potter was dangling between the walls now in what he obviously assumed was a threatening manner, bracing himself with outstretched limbs as he snarled at them in warning. Draco stood his ground and gave him a critical once over, pausing to frown suspiciously at the trails of red liquid running down Potter’s chest. “Is that…”

“He got into a ketchup bottle,” Weasley explained, cowering behind Draco. “I think he felt cheated or something because it just made him angrier.”

Draco sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Honestly,  _why_  him? Potter bared his fangs threateningly and made a lunge for them. Weasley whimpered and shrank into the wall and Draco rolled his eyes.

As good a time for crisis management as any, he supposed.  Wordlessly, he pulled out a package from his pockets and threw it in Potter’s general direction. It landed at the vampire’s feet. Potter stared at it in suspicion, then growled and pawed at it cautiously. He paused, gave Draco a wary look, then grabbed his precious packet and clambered up a nearby pillar, huddling it protectively.

There was stunned silence for a while. Draco dusted his robes off and Weasley gurgled incoherently as a now pacified Potter crooned happily on top of his pillar.

“Sugar quills,” Draco explained to a flabbergasted looking Weasley.  
  
"But...but what if they hadn't worked?" Weasley blurted.  
  
"Trust me," Draco smirked. "You really don't want to see Plan B."

Weasley continued to gawk at him like a ridiculously ugly fish, so Draco just rolled his eyes, and turned to leave. “Be sure to return him when he’s presentable again, Weasley. And Merlin help me, if I find out you used my boyfriend as a guinea pig for your stupid experiments ever again, I will hex your bollocks off.”

He was nearly at the door, when Weasley’s voice broke out again. “Malfoy?”

Draco paused.

“You’re  _really_  good for him, you know.”

Draco smirked silently and left.


End file.
